When I was pregnant I read maybe hundreds of birth stories. So I will post mine in the chances that it helps a woman out there as she prepares for impending pain. Just Kidding. Don't be scared.
I was due Sunday June 24, 2012. I had a prenatal appt Monday June 18th. At this appt the doctor told me she could do a membrane sweep, which is taking her finger and making a swipe to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac away from the cervix without breaking your waters or anything. So if your body is ready for birth this will get things moving. While thinking about it I must have somehow given what sounded like authorization because in a swift motion her hand moved up inside of me and bam-done. Ok.
She said I would maybe have a little spotting and offered me a pad. Well, my sexy pregnant ass was wearing a thong so I declined but tucked it into my purse because I love anything free. Even giant hospital pads. I had scheduled my GI appt for the same day to be very efficient and killed time by walking around the hospital- had lunch, walked the gardens, spied on old people doing water aerobics... Made it to the bathroom (of course) for my millionth pee when I realized I was indeed spotting. Somehow got that pad on my thong by folding it down around the butt floss part so it stuck to itself and stayed in place. Good. Went about my afternoon and as GI time arrived I suddenly got paranoid that there might be an EXAM. You know, a butt exam. I'm not too squeamish about such things (2 colonoscopies and this week I was in the hospital for FIVE DAYS cause they thought I had a GI issue and got a million finger-butt exams but it turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst INSTEAD) but I didnt want to be seen with this diaper thing on my black lace underwear, so I decided to take it off right before I went in. But it was so stuck to itself I had to wrestle it off. Finally, it a non glorious snow of cotton padding that rained down on my head (and that of the lady in the next stall) I was able to pull it off as it ripped apart into a million pieces. Good to go. Anyway, I might be going too much into detail, let's just say the rest of the day went by just fine, no symptoms other than that spotting.
TUESDAY JUNE 19TH, 2012
I had just stopped working the week before and was super excited to be productive. I picked up meds from the vet, went to the PO to drop off packages, and went to a fave store Trader Joe's. I was planning an amazing dinner and bought all sorts of stuff, including beer for my husband. As I checked out the cashier asked if I needed help carrying things to my car but nah, I appreciate the exercise carrying so many bags allowed me. A quick drive home and a three story stair climb later and I was already at my front door. Um, wait a minute...I think I'm peeing myself! As I quickly wrestled the bags to find my keys, my neighbor hollers over asking how I am and so forth. Trying to talk to him and open my door I realize a clear liquid is streaming like pee down my leg (wearing a dress) and for some reason I can't pinch this stream off.
2:45p
I burst through my front door, drop all the groceries in the front hallway and immediately plop onto the toilet. That's where I see a blobby, brownish-red discharge. It didn't immediately dawn on me that this was my "bloody show" or the beginnings of losing my mucus plug. In fact, four pairs of underwear in twenty minutes later I have this realization. I happily bounce on my birthing (yoga) ball and watch some movie on Netflix. At first I felt nothing. Then I had light cramping exactly like a period. This is nothing! I can totally do it! Bounce Bounce. I decide to eat a mango, cut one up, and only have a few bites. Just not into it. For some reason my body doesnt want to eat.
I tell my husband whose phone is dying not to rush, it could be hours or even days before anything happens.
Then I start to get uncomfortable. I decide to stand in the shower and blast hot water on my lower back and lower abdomen whenever these cramps hit and it is AMAZING. Nothing has ever felt so good. I go like this for a while- hot water for pain, then back to bed to watch Switchblade Sisters. I eventually lay a towel out on the bed and floor and no longer mess with drying myself/getting dressed. Gross mango, I can't even stand to look at you. Naked from bed, to shower, to toilet. I shift constantly while laying down, nothing feels good except being in the shower. Gradually the pain gets more intense til I'm sitting in the bathtub cross legged with the shower sprayer in one hand, my other hand on the water knob turning it on whenever the waves of pain came. I finally think to time what must be contractions but cant wrap my head around the concept. Husband calls. His phone died and he is at my dad's, he had a feeling he should leave work. I say he should come home. I start to fear running out of hot water even though I only turn it on during contractions but these things are right on top of each other. If I could just get to the hospital and their endless supply of hot water- this was what kept me going.
I get a call from my husband from my dad's phone, oh good! They must be close! But instead I'm told they just left his house and are thirty minutes away. My heart drops. Oh no. I want to cry. My dad decided to have some ice cream and take a shower before they left his house. Ugh. They can tell I'm pissed. I only dwell in the moment I'm in. Not about what's to come but only to get through each minute, one at a time.
When they arrive they look around and find me silent sitting naked in the tub. Me no talk. You help me up. I slowly and painfully waddle to my closet. My husband quickly showers. I slip on a dress and have my husband help me put on underwear.
He grabs our already packed bags and I waddle out the door. It's a painful three story waddle down. I vaguely hear some neighbors saying something. Alex responds. I have my shoes in my hands and don't care what's going on. The car is pulled up to the loading zone. I climb in silently, adjust the seat all the way back, and close my eyes. I hardly open them at various points just to get an idea of where we are. We pull up to patient registration. I get down, still barefoot, and Alex hurries off to park. I made the slow and painful walk in. I stop for a moment, drop my crocs to the floor and slip my feet in. I have to wait in line. Eyes closed. Eventually it's my turn. I hobble up and lean on the counter. She wants my info, I dont even have my purse. It's obvious I'm not completely there and she calls for a wheelchair while we wait for Alex to arrive with all our bags. His, labor bag, baby's bag, the afterwards bag, my purse, bananas (? my dads doing).... I find my info and hand it to her then slip into the chair. My bottom (not butt, the whole bottom part of my torso) hurts so much. I lean my head into my hand and close my eyes the whole way up. I don't want to talk, I don't want to be talked to. I'm concentrating on the pain. We are wheeled into the delivery room triage where I get into their gown and get ready for pre delivery room monitoring. I don't remember that much. I peed once. I had something strapped onto my belly. They wanted me to sign papers which was ridiculous. I scribbled my signature. Wrong Place. Scribbled it again. I had a wet wash cloth on my forehead that fell onto my face and I worked into my mouth to bite down on. Can't ruin all my new dental work with clenching. A lady worked to put an IV in. I was at 7cm when I got to the hospital. That's pretty damn good. I was worried they'd tell me 2 or 3cm and I'd have so much longer to go. I anticipated this so as not to be completely crushed. After an hour (though in the moment I had no concept time) I was wheeled to labor and delivery. FINALLY I would be able to immerse myself in a tub of hot water. What kept me going all along. On the ride over I casually asked, So, when is it too late for any drugs? I had planned on going without but what I had been feeling was pretty intense. I was told we'd see how far along I was and would know then. Ok, as long as I got that hot bath. Got there, into the bed, checked and 10 CM!! Well no wonder. Then I was informed I was too far along to get in the bath. Or any drugs. My heart dropped a bit. Mostly at no bath.
Then my mother walked in. Now, I had written a birth plan. A wonderfully thought out plan of every aspect of my natural birth. One specification was that my mother was NOT allowed in unless I requested it. Had I at all been in my right mind when I got there I could have given it to them. Who let her in? She did not disappoint in my expectation of some sort of negativity or overall annoyance. At one point I told her to, "SHUT. UP." When Alex told me to remember to breathe I said, "I. AM." No fucking duh, stupid. The only other thing I said was I have to pee. I didn't get an IV, no catheter, and I walked like a big girl (with support) to the bathroom myself. Each step was excruciating. In birth class we had learned that some women will have a mantra or breathe out low Ooooooh's or whatever. I ended up with, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" That was my birthing mantra. Ow. I can't even remember how it hurt. Just that it was intense and full body. At the instruction of the nurse, I changed positions often and with help. From side, to all fours, and back to side. Someone rubbed my back and it was amazing. At some point I got naked. No idea what happened to my gown. Just me in my push up strapless bra. And then I was just so tired. I was on my back and closed my eyes. Just a quick rest. She had told me I was ready to push and could do so whenever I felt like it. "Ok, that was another contraction" she'd say looking at the machine. Huh? I was too tired. "There goes another one" I don't even know if I felt anything. And then, not making the conscious decision to do so or anything I got up into a sitting position and pushed. She was at the machine, turned around, and quickly came over to see what was going on. She ran to the door I think and shouted out, "I'm gonna need some blankets!" Alex grabbed one foot and my mother took the other. I never gave her permission to look at my vagina.
People rushed in as I would take a big breath in then hold it as i bore down to push. I tried to gradually release on each push to not lose any progress. I was super thankful to my birthing instructor for this tip. I could hear my mother gasp and Alex was excited so I assumed I was pretty close. They could see the head and as she emerged I could feel the extreme pinching, burning, stretching sensation known as the ring of fire as my poor vagina ripped.
They immediately put her onto my chest. I was in the hospital for TWO HOURS before she was born. She wasn't all blue/purple. She looked perfect and immediately latched onto my breast. It was an amazing experience and super fast. I attribute this speedy birth to a few things. I drank Raspberry Leaf tea like crazy the last month or so. It is supposed to strengthen the uterus and make for more efficient pushing. I was well educated in the entire process and they say fear can make for a longer labor. I always sat cross legged to help open the hips. I had no drugs at the hospital. They say your next labor can be quicker so if there's a next time it'll be crazy. Like, birth in a car on the side of the highway crazy. She was born at 9:20pm. That same night I remember thinking, I can't wait to do this again.
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| Newborn Nova |
I'd say the pain afterward was worse because of how long it lasts. They gave me two stitches (ow) which stung a lot. Pooping is a whole post to itself; it was horrible. Sitting sucked. Squatting sucked. Sleep deprivation almost made me go crazy. But of course it was all worth it and I really would do it all again.
