The darkness of the morning

A cloud made its way in today.  Maybe through the cracks around the door that let in a bit of light and cold air; it condensed on its way through then expanded back to its dark form.  Slowly meandering down the hall and through the kitchen I was completely unaware of its presence as I lay in bed cuddling a kitty and wondering how to do my hair today.  Yet by the time I lifted my head off the pillow it had made its way to me and I instantly entered the fog of despair.  Lightning bolts of doubt and worthlessness shocked me to the core and I was electrocuted into a paralytic state.  Many things will come and go into our lives but our sense of worth and purpose is like the air to our soul.  For an hour or more I was suffocating on this putrid air that was filling my lungs.  Every negative comment I've ever gotten immediately took attendance in my mind as the lyric "Dear God, I hate myself" cycled through my mind.  Alone, one can easily become lost and fighting our way out of this phenomenon becomes tedious and confusing.  While we're down, an army of negativity takes advantage by sending in line after line of dark soldiers.

What rescued me?   As my mind went to places it rarely dwells, I knew I needed to turn around and run though left with little strength I simply reached out my hand...  to someone on the other side of the spiritual quick sand that was rapidly engulfing me.  With loving and encouraging words they guided me through and as heavy as this blackness sat on my heart, I almost immediately felt my soul freed.

I believe in yin for yang, angels for demons and that though we were made in a holy image with great talents and gifts to fulfill our purpose and serve those around us- there are forces in the universe  that would act in contradiction to this.  I believe some people have dark souls but that many of our enemies are unseen.

I made a ton of last minute Christmas cards- all out of recycled materials but cannot find the plug for the battery recharger since my batteries (and backup batteries) are dead.  Sometimes it feels like something is hiding things from me- some otherworldly game of hide and seek using the things I would very much like to use.  I also can't find any hole punchers though I own three and one is the giant three-hole kind.

Since I can't add anything new, here's a pic of my husband.  At least I know I'll always have him as a fan!